concepts · Journal

Motivation versus Failure

There is a typical motivational saying that FAILURE is just a step on the path of success.

I guess, this saying should motivate you to continue, keep on doing your whateveryouweredoing-thing if you’ve failed… It tells you that failure is a part of the fate and you are not the cause of it – or even if you’re the cause of it, only partially.
Then, if you fail many times.. They just say that it is also a positive sign for you to change your interest.
The last one is just stupid. There are many examples of some determined men who decided something to take over with success “even if it costs their lives”. For the simple example, let’s take those rather crazy Americans from the National Geographic who are building bunkers and storing cans of food in order to survive a Zombie Apocalypse or a Nuclear War… They seem crazy or even insane, but they succeed in their life. Why? Because they followed up a goal and they were totally happy with it.

What about the first, that failure is a part of the fate?
Well, I’m sure it is; however… I’m barely interested in the matters of fate. Shit just happens. By what tendency it happens? Who’s the cause of it? I don’t give a brick. Shit just happens.

Today, I got hugged by some classmates whom wanted chatting with me. It sounds idiot, but they like that I am ignoring them. They just having fun talking to me for no reason. It’s crazy! Whatever… The one is telling great stories about I-dunno-what while he’s doing fast gestures with his hand. I was checking study stuffs on my phone to benefit from my time, then he just hit off my phone from my hand accidentally. I had no reaction. I put my phone up and continued checking my stuff.
You got the background, time, characters of the story, and now you’ve got the “issue” that needs solution: I didn’t give a brick about what happened; however, the other guy saw that my phone split a bit.
The guy who was talking, had been in such talking fever that he didn’t recognize anything; however the other guy started to ask me questions:

-Is it okay? (meant my phone)
-I said yea.
-What about that split?
-It’s old. (lie detected)
-What do you say, whose fault it is?
I started to ask myself: Oh My God! What a stupid question it is? What he wants? He wants to know if I get pissed off silently? What if I tell him the truth that I don’t care about anything? He won’t understand. So, I just told him that it was my fault.. that’s a lie again; however he liked it. Why he liked it? I can only guess and I don’t care about guessing.
Then he started to give me a speech what they say about a person who whenever appears, brings misfortune: djaz alqabar (The flask of tomb). He was aiming with it his friend to make fun of the situation that was not even a little bit funny for me.
The teacher has come and this is the solution of my story. The End.

I don’t know if the story above would be a good example for FAILURE, but I have a better one, hot and spicy… haha:20170502_133057

People see me genius, smart, examplary.. and today… I’ve just got 3.5 points of 20! From the one of the most important moduls that we have! Everybody was shocked and asked me what’s wrong… But I didn’t give a brick about it. Who cares? My classmates. My father? My mother? I just tell them about it, then they’re obliged to forget it since the biological capacity of short and long term memories are too short for keeping such little things for long. It’s just an experience to me, to them.. If it ruins my semester, it will be also an experience, if it will ruin entire life… Guess what! Just an experience! I don’t care. I don’t care at all. I am not following any mental attitude of pessimism, relativism or realism.. I’m just facing things as neutral on the scale of “It could be worse.” “It could be worse.” “It happens.” “Who cares.”

Then.. The main question: Is it a step on the way of success? Bullshit! My failure is my fault because shit happens. I was out of myself on the day of test, I didn’t concentrate and I screwed up an important question. I’m not sad, I’m not pissed off, I’m just.. – I just don’t care.. Anyway, I should feel happy for this.. the justice: “Even the best student can get a bad mark, if he screws up.”
Yea! I am the example of exception! As well as I am the exception of human beings… I am the one who doesn’t care about relationships, doesn’t care about football matches, about earning money, making children, having friends… or about getting a bad mark in Critical Writing.
You remember the stupid guys building bunkers against zombies? Their life is succeeded. They are following up their goals and they were on the path of success. My life is goalless except of dying and going to heaven for my deeds and fulfilling some social expactations. I feel no goals, but I fill some. I don’t know. Isn’t it the path of failure already? I should be a stupid bunker builder or a vandal shouting at the LCD Screen when Ronaldo kicks a ball. I don’t know.

But Overall! I have no problem with motivation… neither with those who have it… However, failure is a part of History since Adam (p.b.u.h).

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