I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.
I came to understanding that society is a system that has functional members, classified groups and an ordered organization. The guy who started working at the Mc Donalds must say “hi” at the workplace to his friends, co-workers, boss and client in different manners used to each. Then, he must go to play soccer in the neighborhood and he is also obliged to sit down talking about Tv-shows and stories about the other citizens of the neighborhood. Why is it an obligation? Because the society is a system, and – as every system – it has an anti-virus, a hostile policeman with rules and punishment to press on you.
In my case, I’ve been out of society for my whole life. This statement could be taken as double-edged sword; however, one side is sharper than the other. I pulled out myself from society while society itself pushed me out of itself, too. Which one is the stronger? Unity makes stronger… Ofc, the society.
However, it is not a war – even if I feel like that sometimes; it is rather a contract of an armistice:
I don’t care about people – they don’t care about me.
I don’t talk to them stories – they don’t bother me.
I don’t seek their companion – they don’t look after me.
I don’t go to play footbal – they don’t call me to play.
It sounds easy; however, sometimes I forgot that it was me who signed this contract, and then I feel myself kinda outcast or exiled. When this temporally Alzheimer happens to me, I pay expensively for breaking the deal between me and society. When I start to be friendly and caring about people, the anti-virus starts to work and it rejects me and hurta me. I can’t be accepted; asking such thing to play football with those people I used to ignore is like a call for a war against a system that so much bigger than me. One must recoil, the one who is only one, who is alone.
Don’t be mistaken on my poetic style of writing.. when I wrote WAR, I meant real WAR with real victims. Taken for example Doctor Frankenstein’s fiction story that is not fiction at all regarding its social truth: If you pull out yourself from the system, but you are a part of it, you are an enemy of the system. Similarly, when somebody has leukemia… A part of the body (that is a system) just pulls out itself from the organizatio that results with the white-defensive blood cells’ attack against that part, and against the whole body at the same time.
Against the whole body. Society has an unspoken utopia that is to make up a perfect system. It is impossible. Just recently, I had a couple of serious conflict from general misunderstandings in part of some ignorant neighbour.
The context is quite Islamic:
“I was in hurry with my little brother to the mosque to pray before breaking the fasting when our next neighbour called us back. I didn’t get what he wanted, so I sent back my brother even if we were late.. However, he told me that the guy just gave him home made bread, so he made my brother come back, hit the bell, wait for opening the door and coming back whereas the guy himself could do it. Next day, the same situation occured, but I shouted him to use the bell and ignored that retard. The day after, I met him on the bus with the his friends from the neighborhood where we started to argue about it.. he couldn’t get my standing point that “instead of making us coming back 100meters and waiting 2 mins for opening the door, he could do it in 5 meters… Why??”. He ended the argument with that I don’t understand anything and he started another argument about my extravagant life in Europe. Here- he broke the contract that I made with society… I don’t talk about you, you don’t talk about me. I don’t care about that retard, I didn’t reply aiming him, nor defending myself… I called for war. I shouted him: “It’s not your business. You can die in any moment, I don’t care. Please, think about me the same.”
Overall, it was funny. However, I really felt eager to beat that guy for his ignorance, but as I said to you, it was an Islamic context in which the Neighbour should be respected and in which Ramadan should not contain fighting. So, Doctor Frankenstein has a whole month before the battle: Ramadan Kareem.