I always used to say “religious views are far away from me”; however, the facts are telling the opposite: throughout my life I was born Muslim, became pious Christian, then atheist until I reconverted to Islam 4 years ago. This fuzzy story is the cause of my parents’ divorce, having a Hungarian Christian mother and an Algerian Muslim father. Before the divorce, my father tried to revert my mother to Islam; however, after the divorce she remained Christian and since I stayed with her as a kid, I became Christian too.
My mother has never been a fanatic Christian, but she signed me into Chatolic eduction as a tactical decision in order to be accepted by the society. Having Christian education or not, the society handled me always as a stranger. People asked me why I am in a Christian country when they heard my name or saw my Arabic genes. Also, I myself started to recognize errors in the society, starting from the one of the proof is the Christian racism, since there’s no written anti-racist law in the Bible.
1. Among my old childhood traumas, there is a quite ridiculous one. Once in the church, the ransom collecting lady striked a boy’s head with the ransome-stick because he didn’t want to pay. Since I was a quite poor guy, I was always afraid of that striking on me for not paying, even if my mother always paid the religious taxes just as in the middle ages. Just as in the middle ages, the corrupt church system was eating the governmental taxes and people’s taxes too, using religious stories rewritten as they wanted. Once, the bishop visited our little village priests and asked me accidentally, what am I doing here if I was born among Muslims. He tried to reform his question; however, he was totally right, so I started asking questions too…
Christian say that life is all about pleasure in Earth. Then why we suffer? Also, they say all of our sin is forgiven by the “son of God”. Well, I don’t know, I have quite good relationship with my dad now, but if one of my friends had left footpaths on our carpet, my dad wouldn’t forgive neither me, nor my friend… It is just as logical as the fasting before eastern that nobody does; however, as if the Creator has obliged them to so. Everything is illogical in that double-faced religion. This is why I chose to leave their play.
I started to follow the majority of the society who ignore religions calling themselves atheist. I amused myself by space-science, video games and such things that create another world in place of the creation. I observed the world as a natural mishap in which human is just a thinking animal among the others that lives and dies. I was so blind and I knew that I was blind; however, I didn’t find the path of God that would help me, so I tried to turn my back too. But God never turns His back on anybody.
Four years ago, I came to visit my father in Algeria where I started to read the Quran in English. The words almost made me cry since it read my soul and my mind. The book was so simple and majestic at the same time, not like the Bible with its fairy-tale-like narratives. The Quran calmed my soul, showing and explaining to me the life in which I was suffering. It says that the life is hardship and a test in which everybody gets his recompense regarding how much he follows God’s warns.
It’s four years that I rejoined Islam after borning into it and I am so happy for this, because it is the true religion that really gave me the reasons of my life. I hope I can follow up the straight path of Allah, being a better man. Before I re-became Muslim, I studied Computer Sciences and I wanted to escape real life either through computer games, either through drugs, alcohols and parties. In contarary, now I keep myself clean and conscience. Now, I study languages to learn and teach people English and my principles. Real life is talking to people, knowing each other, helping each other and doing good in the name of Allah that make people do the same. It is the key of a better life and the key of the best life that is the Heaven. May God write us Heaven.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that “the comparison of one who remembers Allah and one who does not, is like that of the living and the dead.”
Alhamdulillah, I had been dead for 21 years, and I’ve been living for four years. I am a better person. I am Muslim. I am proud.